Thursday, September 17, 2009


I was talking to a friend the other day about our oldest boys and their pro-life work. We were discussing how one cannot enter pro-life work unless they have mercy. Mercy does not allow anger. We have to have compassion and mercy as we pray for the unborn and their mothers. We are both so proud of our boys for being so actively pro-life..... so much to learn on the journey.

11 years ago we had the first of our now 17 pregnancy losses (I am in the middle of 17 as I write this). For a long time, I could not pray at the clinics or do anything pro-life. I was angry. Then we lost the twins. I was so very distraught! A priest friend suggested I go to a Rachel's Vineyard retreat to help with healing, even though I have never had an abortion. It really was very healing and I was able to become more active in the pro-life community again. Seeing those women who had much more pain that I will ever have... it made me realize that I must have mercy. I could no longer be angry. We have lost 18 little ones..... but I do not have to carry the burden of knowing I ended their lives.

If we call ourselves Catholic, then we need to be merciful! Mercy is such a key element of our faith. For me, I have found it difficult to forgive those who have lacked mercy toward me and my family as we deal with chronic illness in our boys. Thankfully, there really have not been that many until a few years ago. I have shared that story before-- church lady. I pray for church lady often -- in fact, as I was walking today hoping to move things along, I was offering up my suffering for her along with all the other prayer intentions I had.

Certain people avoid us at church. Not that I blame them ~smile~ I realize that many won't know how to respond. I am not brutally honest when asked, but when people ask how the boys are doing, I will let them know if they have a bone marrow biopsy coming up or a swallow study like Joseph has coming up. I usually say they are doing well, but have X or Y coming up.

When we first began this "journey" I did not ask for prayer requests. We did not tell members of our church..... or our pastor. Many years later when they thought the boys might go to transplant, I was talking to a friend who told me that I should share with members of the church. It could be considered prideful. We've been told horrible things and even yelled at because of sharing what is going on in our lives.

If we have Mercy, we will want to pray for others and their prayer needs--- we will be thankful for the opportunity to do so. satan cannot get his foot in the door when I am suffering if I pray for others! It takes the focus off of myself and that makes satan very angry!

We need to have mercy in every single aspect of our lives. Mercy for others leads to compassion. I ask God to forgive me if I have ever been uncharitable or unmerciful to anyone I have ever met. With His grace, I hope to show compassion and mercy-- even when I am suffering!

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